Did You Say, Target?

Across my different social media platforms my biographies all say, “The self-proclaimed spokeswoman for all things Target”. That being said, I figured it was only appropriate to finally write an article about the store we all love to hate and hate to love.

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Love to hate?” you may have just asked yourself. Yes. Love to hate. You’ve seen the memes on Facebook. These are not jokes people. This is real life. You will go to Target for one thing and leave with 77.
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I’m beginning to think it’s called Target because your heart is the Target and it’s pierced by everything in the store. It’s as if Cupid himself is in each aisle shooting arrow after arrow right into your heart. Directing you straight to that jacket you know you don’t need…. But who are we to deny Cupid, anyways?

Over the years my friends would tell me, “I love your shoes! Let me guess…….Target.”

Your purse is so cute! You got it at Target didn’t you….

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You bet your ass I did.

Target clothes and accessories have a high-dollar appearance for a usually relatively average cost. As you’re walking past the women’s clothes section no matter how hard you try to keep walking, you think to yourself; ‘Ya know, I could use another sweater.’ You already have the red one, the brown one and the green one, but you don’t have the black one yet…

Without a second thought you toss the sweater in the cart. Because it never hurts to have the same sweater in multiple colors. And you keep on keepin’ on.

‘Wait.. What is this? Oh my God… These planners are SO ADORABLE.’ you say to yourself out-loud because at this point the initial shame has worn off and you’ve just accepted you’re probably going to spend $100 if not more because you have come to the realization that you NEED everything in this store.

You can’t tell me you haven’t walked through the aisle with all of the planners and contemplated buying every single one. Ugh. Why is everything in this store SO. DAMN. CUTE?!?! 

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Okay, so we’ve gotten a new sweater and a new planner. Even though we already have three planners at home, but we’re justifying this because this one has a huge section specifically for notes and you know how many notes I take on a daily basis? (none) TONS!

Now I know when you’re in Target everything becomes a must-have, but trust me.. this next item is a must, must, must, MUST-have. I am about to make your life SO much better. They say we spend 1/3 of our lives sleeping (even though as a new mom I don’t believe that anymore) so…

Why not spend that time in pure bliss? 

You may have heard of t-shirt sheets. Otherwise known as, ‘Jersey sheets‘. If you’re looking for a gift for your mother, daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend… Trust me. Jersey sheets. Jersey sheets. JERSEY SHEETS.

These things were sewn by the hands of God himself. I have never slept on anything so soft in my entire life. Now, I will warn you, if you do get this is a gift, said person may never get out of bed again. I wish I could have everything I own in this material. Pants, T-shirts, sweatshirts, sweaters. I want everything in my life to be a giant jersey sheet from Target. 

If you take one thing away from this article, you must get jersey sheets. ASAP. (You can thank me later)

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Now try as hard as you might.. You know you can’t walk away from this beauty…

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That’s right. The $5, $3 and $1 bin. Throughout the year around the different holidays there are little seasonal decorations for your home. A bunch of adorable mini notepads that you really don’t need but you convince yourself you can keep one in your purse just in case.

‘Oh, I don’t have a bright orange charger cable yet!’ you think to yourself as you toss that in your cart. Why not? It’s $5.00… It can never hurt to have an extra charger, right? Oh and I could use a back up case too.. Okay we’re probably up to about $20.00 now, but for 4 or more different things? What a steal!

Honestly, I could write forever about the magical products Target has to offer and the many things 20 somethings think while shopping there. This is my personal testimony that the memes flooding your news feed…

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are…..no………joke………..

When you’re heading to Target, leave all cards at home and only take the amount of cash you need for your desired items.

If not, be mentally prepared to spend $100 or more. This imaginary Target trip we just took together probably cost us a good, $150 if not more. 
Target is a place where magic happens. You walk in with money and before you know it, all your money disappears! 
…But hey, you’re new boots, new sweater, new planner, new whiteboard calendar, new decorations for your home, new sheets, new blankets, new floor lamp, new throw pillows, new sunglasses, new wallet, new watch, new outdoor bar stools for the outdoor bar you’ll have at your future home, new nightstand and new vanity organizer? ADORABLE.

You go, girl.

Sincerely,

The Self-Proclaimed Spokeswoman For All Things Target.

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